TV's funniest Doctor visit.

You know it's not about free speech.

This last week has been a surreal experience. As much as I don't want to write about Chick-Fil-A ever again, I have to say one last word about it.

I don't know about you, but when Mike Huckabee tells me where to go, I go there! I do what Mike Huckabee says. After all, this dude definitely knows good fried chicken when he sees it. I only watch Huckabee after I've had a couple of good strong Long Island Iced Teas, usually from Applebees (be jealous of my hot suburban life). If I'm a little buzzed, I'll watch Huckabee and enjoy pointing out that he gained a lot of weight back. For some reason when I'm slightly drunk, I find that really funny. I like to point at him and make pig noises. I also enjoy imitating his tailor, who no doubt doesn't want to have to rebuild the Governor's entire wardrobe again.

When the former Governor and Baptist minister called for Chick-Fil-A appreciation day, you knew the people would turn out in droves. But what I loved more than watching the parade of Fox News viewers sitting in hours of traffic, by their own choice, was listening to their reason for being there: Free Speech.

According to those who went and supported Chick-Fil-A this last week, they did so to show their support for CEO Dan Cathy's right to free speech. The people I talked to about this seem to think that a CEO of a very profitable fast food company may be in danger of losing his right to free speech when he comes out and says he's opposed to gay marriage. Sorry, I should say he supports "traditional biblical marriage".



I know he means "one man, one woman" but he left out the concubines, slaves, his brother's wife should his brother pass away, and he left out that if his daughter were to be raped, she'd have to marry her rapist. Not to mention the payments received by the brides family in exchange for her, prearranged years in advance by the 2 families. These guys always miss out on the really good Bible stuff. The idea of marrying for love is actually a fairly recent thing.



Let's not forget, the whole controversy began because CFA gave over 5 million dollars of their corporate profits to "Pro-Family" causes.

"Pro-Family". Doesn't sound like it would ever hurt you does it? Almost sounds like a really good thing. Who isn't "pro-family"? I have a wife and 2 kids. I'm very close with my parents, and have a great relationship with them. I was close to my grandparents, and I stay close with my aunts, uncles, and cousins as much as I can. My idea of family is a lot like the family from the Cosby Show. It's a big group of people, who love and support one another. And let's face it, who didn't adore the Cosby Show growing up? I'll watch hours of Cosby Show reruns to this day. I still love it. So what could possibly be bad about "pro-family" activist groups?

Let me point something out about "Pro-Family" groups: These people are fond of saying that what they engage in is not hate speech. They say they support the biblical definition of marriage, again without the concubines, slaves, rape, incest etc. But they actively work against creating families that they don't like.

In fact one guy, Peter Sprigg of the Family Research Council (certified hate group) says he'd like to export homosexuals from the US. Doesn't exactly give you the warm fuzzies that the idea of "family" is supposed to conjure up, does it?


Exodus International, a beneficiary of Chick-Fil-A's Family Friendly Funding Spree (I made that phrase up) has spent nearly 4 decades claiming they can cure gays. News has just recently come out that founder Alan Chambers has now renounced that idea. After 40 years of not "curing" one gay person, and himself being married to a woman and still having gay attractions, I can imagine how that would shake your faith in the idea of repairative gay therapy. Chick-Fil-A may want invest somewhere else from now on. My suggestion is that they match the donations they made to Exodus International and give it to The Trevor Project. www.trevorproject.org

And lest we forget, the National Organization for Marriage. I find it odd that these guys aren't doing much to make divorce illegal. No, the 7 marriages between Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich were all sacred and holy, and should not be tarnished by 2 men who are actually in love.

But, let's step back a second. These guys claim they're "pro family". Here's an interesting fun fact: the Ku Klux Klan doesn't claim to be anti-black. They claim to be pro white. They say that black people should be proud of their race, they should just be proud on a different continent. In a sense, the klan, those inbred sheet bearers, claim the same amount of tolerance as the Family Research Council. That's just something to ponder. Maybe puke about it later.









But, again, what was the rallying cry around this particular call for white meat power? (relax it's a joke, I'm not calling you racist.) Free Speech.

The folks who spent hours in traffic at the Chick-Fil-A, or Chick-Fil-Aters, said they were supporting free speech. So I'm sure we'll see them at Starbucks for Human Rights Campaign/GLAAD Appreciation day on August 7. I'm sure these fine folks will continue to support Google, Microsoft, Home Depot, JC Penny, Sears, and KFC. After all, Free Speech and freedom of religion are what it's all about.


These guys are pretty free with their own free speech. If you can say that on the air, and be exempted from paying taxes, I think your freedom of speech is safe. God help the rest of us.

That's what I really think.

Follow me on twitter @davelondonblog

More to come

There But for the Grace of the American Family Association....

We've all heard the saying "there but for the grace of God go I". If you haven't heard it before, well fuck you. You just read it. That's a little church humor. It's a phrase we can all understand, and relate to.

We've all looked at someone else's troubles and said to ourselves "at least I don't have that". It could all be worse.

I thought about that while reading, and aiding my comrades in a twitter fight with some people from the American Family Association. I find this organization fascinating. I've spent a good deal of time in places like Oklahoma and Kansas, and AFA, more specifically, AFR - American Family Radio, is very popular in that part of the country.

The marriage of politics and religion can't be more on display. Their particular brand of Christian Conservatism mostly focuses on reproductive rights and LGBT rights. They would like to end abortion, and convert all gay people to being straight, republican voting citizens of red states. They'd like all gays, lesbians, and those of us who support our LGBT brothers and sisters to go to a protestant church every Sunday, and decry the evils of liberalism, gay lib, and reproductive choice. They'd like all of us to renounce our sin, turn from our evil ways, and devote ourselves to heterosexual marriages, Bible study, suburban sprawl, child rearing, decent non-union jobs and voting for good God fearing conservatives in every election. Oh, and send them money. Don't forget that. The shit they say on AFR among other things got AFA slapped with the label "hate group" by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

They're an extreme bunch. You can't even really call them conservatives. True conservatives aren't the least bit concerned with what 2 grown consenting adults do in the privacy of their home. They don't give a damn if you're gay or straight, or bi, or poly amorous, or queer, or questioning, or even transgender. They just want to do away with the estate tax, since so many of us are going to pay it.

The 2 loudest voices from AFR are GM Buster Wilson, and host of Focal Point, Bryan Fischer.

I'd ordinarily include some video clips, but fuck them, I'm not doing that. You can visit their website if you care to see that, or you can go to www.rightwingwatch.org and sample them there.

The latest outrage from AFA is that Google began a campaign called "Legalise Love". AFA is already engaged in boycotts of other companies because of their support of marriage equality. But AFR's GM Buster Wilson seems to have stopped short of calling for a boycott of Google. Maybe because he has an Android? Who knows, but when he got pressed on it, Buster flipped out. He accused RWW of lying about what he said, which they didn't. A lengthy argument ensued on twitter, which I participated in. I made some snarky remarks to Buster, but didn't call him a name, no profanity, and no threats. I asked him: Since AFA is already boycotting so many other companies because of their support of gay rights, why not boycott Google?

He accused several of us on twitter of being hateful. Granted, some people did use some profanity, and one guy called him a cunt, but he wasn't really engaging in a conversation. He was just lashing out at being questioned. For his part he would say it was all lies. "Lies I tell ya, all lies!!".

Buster blocked me. Not a big loss. The guy doesn't like tough questions. I didn't call him anything during the twitter fight with RWW, but I am going to say Buster Wilson of American Family Radio is a damn coward.

The guy's gonna take on Google, for having the temerity to disagree with him and the other weird asses at AFR, but he can't answer a question from me?

I'm just a smart ass blogger for Chrissakes!! I'm nobody!!

And therein lies my fascination with American Family Association and American Family Radio. According to these guys, Jesus was rabidly anti-gay, pro-second amendment (seriously, Bryan Fischer actually said that), anti-abortion, and supports doing away with the capital gains tax. I'm not making this shit up. They say this stuff on the radio.

Their Jesus would kick down the infirm. He would demand a co-pay for life saving treatment instead of healing the sick out of compassion. He would be fine with stoning a gay man to death. He'd turn a blind eye to the murder of a doctor. Their Jesus quite frankly scares the fuck out of me.

Thank God their Jesus doesn't really exist.
I can't thank John Fugelsang enough for this quote. Thank you John!

The Jesus I pray to wouldn't do any of the vile things Buster Wilson and Bryan Fischer say He would do. I am a Christian. I went to seminary as a matter of fact. And most of my classmates would likely agree with at least some if not most of what Buster and Bryan say. I find that shameful.

Their Jesus would look at gay teen who just got their ass kicked for not looking butch enough and tell them "son, it's your fault for being pillow biter. now go enroll in exodus international, and start having sex with one woman for the rest of your life, or I'm sending your butt loving ass straight to hell!" Like from the movie Red State, scary shit. Thank God their Jesus is made up. The Jesus I pray to would pick that teen-ager up, hug him, wipe away his tears, heal his wounds, and tell him he's loved. He'd tell the closeted bastards who beat the kid up to take a whack at Him so long as one of them is without sin.

They would look at someone dying with an incurable disease in an emergency room and say "my tax dollars shouldn't be keeping you alive. pay for this yourself, you louse!" Or, they might look at a homeless person and judge them for all the bad choices that guy made. He probably did make some poor choices, but does he deserve your judgment?

They'll see all the suffering, some of which they have contributed to, and say, "my oh my. There but for the grace of God go I." And there's the heart of the real difference between the AFA Jesus, and the real one.

The real Jesus looks at unthinkable human suffering and says "There go I." (Matthew 25:40)

That's really what I think. Follow me on twitter @davelondonblog

More to come.

Free Speech For The Dumb

I'm posting this in honor of today's Supreme Court decision regarding the FCC.



This is also in honor of Stephanie Miller, who hosts the best morning talk show in America. We love you Mama!

Louis C.K. is a Genius.

My daughter actually did once hide in a linen closet. I loved this!

Art, Activism, and Manipulation - A love triangle

I read earlier that the southern rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd will perform at the Republican Convention in August. Also performing will be Trace Adkins and Kid Rock. It isn't a surprising line up. 2008 saw Trace Adkins, Big & Rich, Cowboy Troy and Gretchen Wilson sing the praises of the Republican Party at their convention. BTW that was the convention where the sitting Republican president didn't deliver a keynote in person, opting to deliver brief remarks by video.

When I read the list my first thought was "Sweet Jesus on the cross, Obama might lose the south!!!" After I finished panicking and freaking out, I took a few deep breaths. I remembered that in 2008, Obama lost the south. In 2004, Kerry Lost the south. Gore did the same in 2000, but got more votes, not that it mattered.

I've always been interested in the blend of art and activism. Ever since I was a teenager and followed Bill Clinton's campaign I found it fascinating. His campaign theme song was Don't Stop by Fleetwood Mac. The song was one of his favorites, and one that I recognized. It was the first time a politician that I paid attention to used music that I knew as part of their presentation. Of course it was Bill Clinton, and "Don't Stop" was a phrase he was very fond of hearing. Props to him on that.



This is the same strategy just a different year. For their part the Democrats in 2008 featured performances by Dave Matthews, Sheryl Crow, Melissa Etheridge, John Legend, and others. In 2004 I remember seeing the Black Eyed Peas and Willie Nelson perform.

Art is a mirror. It reflects the culture as it is, and usually slightly skews the true picture to some degree. It tells us where we are, who we are, and what we're doing. Further it aims to tell us how what we're doing affects the rest of the world.

It's not an accident that the RNC, which has become a primarily southern party in recent decades seems to attract a lot of country music fans. To be fair, certainly not all country artists support republicans. Emmylou Harris, Willie Nelson, Steve Earle, and Kris Kristofferson are not known as staunch conservatives. On the flip side, not all rockers are liberals. Ted Nugent, Alice Cooper, Dave Mustaine (megadeth), and Gene Simmons tend to support conservatives. But in general, the 2 sides tend to court and attract a certain type of person. They can count on generalized types, and then have to court the rest of us. The arts play a role in that. Endorsements don't. I don't think most of us are really that interested in the endorsements of celebrities, except maybe to satisfy a curiosity about it. That's why the messages of one side or another are placed within the presentation. When you watch FoxNews for instance, the graphics and overall look tend to appear very patriotic. Lot's of red, white, and blue. Lot's of pictures of soldiers, although many of the people who appear on that network would like to get rid of the GI bill, so there's that. But, at least it looks like they support the troops. One can never have enough flags draped around them!(if this color scheme doesn't give you a rock hard boner for America then you may may as well be Canadian, you freedom hating commie bastard!)

But as I get older, I don't see it changing. And quite honestly, I'm bored with it. It's the same play over and over again. What would shake things up? I would find it interesting if any of the performers at one of the last conventions, switched and played at the other. Maybe Trace Adkins could continue to use his favorite prop- the military- in a different way, and pay tribute to the LGBT soldiers who are now able to serve without hiding who they are thanks to President Obama. That could make some news. Or what if Will.I.Am wrote a song for Romney about how the capital gains tax should be abolished. That shit would be crazy!

What if Lynyrd Skynyrd thanked the President for all the federal aid given to the state of Mississippi, which receives more federal aid than any other state, and is the state with the highest rate of poverty. That would get my attention. Maybe someone will do that. Incidentally, Mississippi is also the birthplace of the American Family Association, fine Christian folks who have been classified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

But there won't be any surprises. This is all part of the playbook, and it's not going to change. It's marketing. It's the use of art to promote policy. Often art promotes an idea organically, and art can be used on purpose to actively promote a point of view. Here's an example.


At the Faith and Freedom conference, well known intellectual heavy weight Glenn Beck railed against the show Glee. I'm not making this up. The guy thinks Glee is the end of civilization. He talked about how he and his wife watched Glee in abject horror, with their eyes widened and their hands over their faces. Those kids are pretty fucking scary. Especially the cute chicks. They'll wreck your soul. His solution was to produce a right wing version of Glee, that will be so well produced that liberals will like it. I'm again, not making this shit up. Glenn Beck actually said this stuff in front of a group of people.


I hope Glenn can find make-up stylists, hair stylists,
and choreographers who aren't gay and embrace his views. PPV Glenn should have an easy time finding that. I guess the kids on gLenn (see what I did there?) will sing about not being gay, and do contemporary Christian hits from the 1980s? PPV quality indeed. If Glenn wants to sink his money into something like that, I say God bless him! Go for it Ace!

But how is Glenn wrong about Glee? Glee doesn't make up stuff that happens in school. Glee reflects what's been happening in schools for a long time, and again, exaggerates it to some extent. Some of our best actors in my high school, other than me of course, were gay. We all knew they were gay. Most of us didn't give a shit, and still don't.

But Glenn Beck does. And he's willing to put up some money to make a new conservative version of Glee to combat the evil he was so afraid of watching. So either his new TV show is going to be a multi media attempt at gay to straight conversion, or a new tool that straight homophobes can use to combat the evil, disgusting homo kids in their high schools. Or maybe a third thing will happen. It will simply further divide those who can live with the fact that some people are gay, and those who won't.

The truth is the politcos know how important art is. They also know how subtle it can be. And they'll use it to their advantage. They'll use it to gain power, wealth, and your trust. The result is that our bubbles we live in will get bigger. It will make the fox-news, talk radio, country music listening, evangelical bubble that much larger. It will make the msnbc, pod casting, alt-music listening, multi-cultural bubble a little bit bigger. We'll be even further apart.


The game won't change.

And someday art will reflect the bubbled culture we live in, and it will skew it slightly. Perhaps in the artistic rendering, we'll have our own languages. Won't that be swell? Of course not.

That's what I really think.

You can follow me on twitter @davelondonblog

Turn the volume down.

Election years bring about interesting behavior. I have relatives that won't speak to me like an adult because of our political differences. My wife Aly's mother has a cousin that is always putting up right wing crap on her facebook page, and usually I just ignore her. But then she took a cheap shot at Chris Hayes, and I told her that I understand what he was trying to say. And I watched the clip, and saw him trying to straddle a very precarious line of critiquing the way Bush and Cheney manipulated people's sense of patriotism to garner support for a terrible mistaken war in Iraq and used our military men and women (who yes, are in fact heroes), while trying not to say anything derogatory about those who wear the uniform.

Her response to me was that we'll have to agree to disagree, and that he was shitting all over the military. He got it both ways from both sides for saying what he said.

But he had a point. The people who engineered a decade of chaos in Iraq did so while using our friends, family, and loved ones as props. The same way Fox News does it. You don't see Paul Rieckhoff talking vets issues with Sean Hannity, and you never will. It's a shame too. Sean might have to come face to face with someone who has bravely served his country and isn't a right winger.

But that's television. That's media. I get when it happens there. But why in the mother-fuck does that happen to average people? Since when do we not eat with "them" because "they're liberals"? What the hell difference does that make? And how is it that we can't have a polite conversation over a beer with out some dickhead spouting off about "hippies" at OWS, or another equally obnoxious dickhead continuing to bitch about Bush V. Gore? It's over. Let it go for chrissakes!

I say all this because I've noticed that it's rare for anyone to branch out of their cocoons and deal with people that are different without being a total assbag to them. It's not right. It's not Christ-like. It's not zen. It blows a full herd.

(this is how fights looked in the 80's kids. aren't their outfits breathtaking?)

So here's a solution: Go out to dinner with your family, and don't talk about the election. Find something else to say. Find a better way to spend your time. Reading this blog is a good start. Telling your relatives they should read it and leave me all the nasty comments they want is good too. Then, get it out of your system and their system. The volume will be turned down. No more "you fascist jack ball" or "you corporatist nut sack". Just good family fun.

Once you've done that, go out and have a steak, or some good vegan food, a glass of wine and converse about anything other than the election.


You're welcome dear readers. I hope you can relax with your family. I won't be able to. I avoid Aly's family like the fucking black death! Those people are crazy. And my family is larger, and harder to avoid. FML.

Follow me on Twitter @davelondonblog

That's what I really think. More to come.